Oh Baby!

‘When are you having a baby?’

‘What are you waiting for? You’re not getting any younger’ 

‘You know you are marrying a Naija boy right. You need to start the family now’ 

Yes these are a few of the questions I’ve been asked about my family planning decisions and they have led me to one my biggest insecurities yet. 

I ask myself these same questions guys! But u asking them really isnt helping lol. 

Ok the use of the LOL isnt necessary because I’m probably not laughing and most likely do not want to laugh at this statement but to have the sadness emotion. 

So here I am. 

Time to open up...some more...

So like yourselves, as in those concerned with my production line, I want to get to the bottom of those questions too. 

So as you may or may not be aware I have been in my relationship, with honestly the man of my dreams, for 10 years - He is amazing. Those closest to me know I’m smiling from ear to ear writing this. Cheesy I know, but its sincere. Yes, he’s Nigerian and I’m well aware of that but theres more to cultural traditions, no disrespect. 

Let me explain...

“Bae” is the smartest person I know and together weighing up the pro’s and con’s to having a baby right now or before have just lead us to the decision to wait a while. 

Generational wealth. 

Some of you may or may not be familiar with this term but its bascially what we inherit from our parents/families to give us a good life. This is the simplest of explanations. We decided that both of us did not have that. Not even the most basic means of wealth to give us that extra boost in life. For example, many of our friends or people we know have families who own property or businesses who eventually will pass this on to their children. Whether it be the value of the property/land which most sell to buy their own or businesses with the knowledge on how  to run them. 

Both of which is what we dont have. 

We noticed that families who have this for their children, provide them with what I like to call the “step” or the “head start”. Life is a ladder which we all climb to be successful in whatever way we define success as. 

Most children within our community do not have anything to give them that “head start”. 

This what we want for our kids. We want to be comfortable enough to already have a home for them to grow up in and have something for them to get involved in as their own. Just a sense of hard work. I mean I didnt have that growing up but i’ve seen people who have and how differently they look at life and money. 

Again, here comes the Jay-z example, I watched an interview where he was talking about his 4:44 album and he mentioned in his story of OJ track about giving ‘million dollar worth of game for 9.99’. Game being real life advice. He discussed how important it was in leaving “things” for his children. He talked about getting involved in art and real estate and how important it is for our community to move away from buying things which make us no money i.e. cars and clothing. Which I understand but have been swooped into the “poor mans mentality” as they call it too and yes I love nice things too. But this is what I want to educate myself on so that I can teach my children the same. I want to be comfortable enough so they don’t have to struggle and create their own head start. We want our kids to be able to be creative and do their own thing and not worry about having have the best academic job which pays the highest so they can be comfortable, but think of ways to have their own money and businesses and to be the best they can be without worry. 

As well as this, I want to break the cycle! I want to live that old fashioned life of being married before kids! I say old fashioned because nowadays marriage isn't something my generation really prioritise and can you blame them weddings are expensive also and people would rather buy a house rather than spend huge dollar on a wedding. Seriously, the amount of money you can put into a wedding could be a comfortable first home deposit. That’s reality.  Mate don’t t get me wrong I want both but I just want to do one before the other. It’s something I want to do as part of my life Story.  

So why have I not had a baby yet? 

Because I’m not rich yet bruh! LOL. 

Im not even joking, well kind of. We just want to be comfortable enough to have something to pass on. As much as I would be so happy if I fell pregnant and then have a cute mini me that I could dress up and take out. I would rather wait when I look at the bigger picture. There is more to just having a baby I suppose plus sleepless nights. I’m so not ready for that...

So now leave me and my ovaries alone....