Forgiveness
What is forgiveness?
I’m not the type to forgive and forget. Its just not in my nature. I hold grudges deeply and see any wrong doings as a personal attack. So when it occurs I get myself ready for war and usually I wont even argue. Thats not me. I will just ignore your entire existence. Lol.
Sometimes I sit and think how different things are. The past year honestly changed me as a person for the better. I matured massively. Holding judgement and anger in your heart really does nothing but block your blessings.
I posted recently on my instagram story ‘God works in mysterious ways’. Im forever shown how true this statement is. Just when I think I’ve got everything under control something happens and I am in a vulnerable position where he tests my character. In my past blog I mentioned how I wasn’t out spoken which I truly am not. But self evaluation occurred and i realise how stubborn I actually am, unnecessarily.
In most instances I really use this as an excuse but being stubborn doesn’t get me anywhere. I really need to let go of things harbouring on my heart. In my woman to woman I mentioned how understanding I could be in certain situations such as disappointment which to this day I am. But theres those small, and say small in hindsight after looking back at my stubbornness in action, instances where I need to get it together.
I get so defensive when my character is judged and I love so hard so when people let me down I just cant get over it lol.
Now comes some more honesty...
I feel guilt. Especially lately. It may be the age and maturity thing. Why? Everyone has their reasons and as reasonable as I usually am, I choose to omit that there are two sides to every story and I get it, it was a mistake/flaw of mine. Thou shall not judge. This is the one thing I’ve learnt to do and love to do. I need to worry about my own damn self.
Ok in all i’m not saying ill change today, tomorrow or even in a year completely but i’m aware of my flaws and its something i’m working on. I promise.
It’s all about inner peace and I really do acknowledge when I’m wrong and eventually I will give in. Well... I’m trying to.
Warning: Just don’t come for me or my peoples unnecessarily.
Note to self: relax a little.
So to begin this process I need to make peace and just let go.
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