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Woman to Woman with... Sherelle

Really I should rename this blog Wow-man because its the only word I used when listening to her answers. 

Before I get you all too excited I want to tell you that God works in mysterious ways and he puts people and things on your path for a reason. From what I can remember, I first met Sherelle at the first Danny Peak Fitness Bootcamp and for some reason I was drawn to her energy. I don't usually just follow people on insta, especially if they are from the same city as me because I just think maybe they think I'm weird but in this case I did just that. I even randomly would react to her stories, which again I'd never do. Oh and by the way her stories, if you don't know are hilarious! 

I remember posting my Fearless blog and she hit me up with support. HOW NICE! That GENUINE Woman to Woman Support, you know I'm here for it. She then messaged me and I asked her to do a collab and as open and friendly as she was she agreed. She promised to tell her truth as crazy or as complicated it may be and she did not disappoint. A true woman of her words. 

I hope I am able to convey her story and vibrant personality through this write up and I hope you all enjoy reading...

Lets get into it....

So as we begun the interview Sherelle wanted to put out a small disclaimer which she talks about openly throughout the interview...

I have off the scale ADHD which I don't fully understand yet but it makes me quite quirky and I will  go a little bit left to right and I may  digress but I will pull it back where I can and I will do my best. It also means that I can be quite raw and uncensored, the good thing about that is that i'm comfortable to just speak. I'm an open book when I choose to be I suppose. 
Tell us about you, Who is sherelle?

I'm Sherelle, i'm 33 years old, born on the 1st September.  I am SINGLE (It's Complicated;) ). I always like to leave an extra something for the imagination ;). Im deffo willing to give you all the juice but also leave you coming back for more. LOL. I have no children, and left home from about 15 years old. Im very strong minded and a perfectionist, I'm very much a true Virgo. I'm very much an Empath and the contrast is that I have ADHD and that gives me this extra bit of personality. People don't see the real me because they see the character that i've built. This character is like a defence mechanism as a protection for myself. They always see this person. I'm a joker so I can take anything and people think 'Yh she can take anything', but deep down im a quite sensitive person. I'd rather not show that side of me so I don't get taken advantage of and you know people see this hard exterior about me but really i'm probably one of the most softest, sensitive, reasonable people you can ever meet.  
I'm also known as Tina Turn Up they say the party doesn't start til Tina Turns Up LOL. She is my alter ego. I'm not sure if people know my actual real name because of it. She is a massive part of my character and she does hides the more complex side of me.
 I used to think, people don't actually know me. Then I realised people cant know the true me because I didn't know me. 
People are always drawn to me probably because i'm quite relatable. I know quite a lot of people but only have a few friends. 

What gives you happiness?

Now this one was quite challenging to think of. I'm most happy, well id like to think i'm most happy 6/7. I'm happy when i'm helping people especially when they are in need. Whether its a pound or an ear, if i'm able to just give someone respite from their own personal chaos, I really do feel good when i've given back. I feel like God's plan for me is just different, the fact that I haven't got children right now just gives me that flexibility to just get up and be there for someone when they need me, to an extent of course LOL.
Transitioning from one career to another  due to not being fulfilled and stimulated whilst there and because people are ungrateful. Its important for me to be part of a greater cause. 
Music is a massive therapy for me. A night out isn't just a night out for me. I am happy just on the dance floor on my own, which to be fair I mostly am. Its never cool if its just me and one friend out, because I would just be shocking out on the dance floor and they'd be stood nursing our glasses. 
Travel is also happiness to me. Being able to bless other people with my skills and gifts and being able to change their lives and thought processes gives me happiness. I've been compared to the guy from Greenmile which is funny considering where he ended up but anyway, but i can understand it to an extent. Sometimes my "Missionary" work which is what I like to call it can sometimes be exhausting and I do get a bit tired from it but it makes me happy that i'm able to make change and influence with my strong personality and i can sway peoples decisions. I think happiness is about enabling happiness in others and I think thats an important thing. One thing I do consider quite a lot is if this means I haven't found my own true happiness yet. 

What has been your biggest struggle/obstacle in life?

This is a weird one. I can look at this two ways, either there has been  so many struggles or there has been no struggles. 
Well if I strip this question back and just be quite raw, I think i've always struggled with fitting in. I've always felt quite different. This probably stems from my childhood and having other siblings from different parents and not really knowing where i belonged. I always felt like a bit of a loner and I don't know if thats because of how my mind thinks. I've always known that I think differently  and function differently to everyone else. This is probably why I feel so comfortable in my own environment and when I allow other people in it can get a bit messy. Ive lived in my present home now for 12 years and i've never held a house warming party or any drink ups. My home is my safe place, my sanctuary, my temple. Everything is how I want it to be. 
As much as I can excel in uncomfortable situations also feel uncomfortable in those situations. I struggle so much for time keeping and lateness and i feel awful for it, I don't feel good about it. People can be dismissive and take the piss out of me for it, almost assuming im doing it on purpose. Then I got diagnosed with ADHD in 2018 and it all made sense and has made me understand my struggles. Lateness and time keeping is a key characteristic of ADHD. For those that don't know, ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and does not allow control over impulses. I don't like the term deficit. Deficit is a negative word. If we look at it in the financial context, deficit means to be "broke" or "at a loss". I don't like to think i'm attention broke. I'm attention different! If you were to give me a subject or topic which i'm comfortable or interested in, I can go all the way with it. I have quite a high IQ and i fall under the category of Gifted, I don't know how or why because i'm quite Klutz. Fun fact Einstein had ADHD so ill take it. 
ADHD isn't a blessing but the diagnosis is.
I also have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and i think that stems from my desire to have control over everything around me and wanting things my way. My routine is very regimented in terms of how I do things and if I run out of time to do things things go out of sync and this will frustrate me and becomes a problem for me. I try to embrace it now, where as before i was very anti-help, anti-therapy and anti-labels and the older i've got with my stubbornness and persistence i've learnt to handle it better. 
This past year I encountered ill health and the tables sort of turned which i'm not use to. It was hard for the people around me because i'm usually their point of call in time of need and it got to the stage where i sat back and thought well who helps the helper. I also need people around me to help me. Ive struggled in some ways because being independent and a loner can keep you out of trouble but at the same time i think it robs you of things. 

We all need people. 
Everyone needs people. 
Everyday I struggle. 

Sherelle tell me about what you've experienced with Mental Health?

I've been diagnosed with Existential Depression. This is where you worry about things which are happening around the world, which you don't have any control over. Its more of a frustration and stress. 
It's crazy really because growing up I suffered with depression and anxiety and I understand a little more why. One being the ADHD and following an assessment I was also informed that I was also on the Autistic spectrum. Anxiety attacks started when I was in my early teens and it was bizarre then because it wasn't spoken about, understood or accepted. I understand more now because i'm an empath so I feel what other people go through. 
When my sister and friends had operations, they would sneeze and I would feel the pain of their stitches. As an empath I really take things on. Energy transference is a real thing. 
There was a time when I would talk about anxiety I would get an panic attack because I make things so real in my mind. I like answers to things and when theres no answers, it drives frustration in my mind. 
Ive definitely suffered with depression, i've had days were i've not wanted to get out of bed or talk to any one. You know I mentioned before i'm very regimented and particular and I like things done a certain way and my bills paid on time but when i'm in that depression mindset it all goes out of the window. You don't care for or about anything. Your mind and body completely shut down and its a weird thing to explain if you've never experienced it. That's why its important to understand how powerful the mind is.When the mind is unwell it can have such devastating effects on the body.
I learnt to sort of deal with it  and self-help myself at that age because I'd worry that if I went to the Dr's, in the future when I wanted to have kids it would mean the social services would be involved, because they think i'm a 'nutter' or i'm going to 'hurt the child'. That's how deep I think about things. 

I will probably be late to where i'm meant to be tonight because i know i need to do this for you Chess. If I was to go out without doing this, I just wouldn't be able to relax and thats part of my Mental Health.

Mental health is so difficult and so isolating. 

It's important that we talk about mental health and change the way we talk about it.
Its important to have a good support network or a strong frame of mind yourself you can struggle to claw it back. I struggle because I play the Teacher and the Student and I think this can be a dangerous game because sometime I don't allow myself to be taught so it can become counter-productive. Then I find myself banging my head against the wall out of frustration. 

I think people need to really understand how delicate and powerful the mind is. People need to realise how powerful words are. 

I always knew i'd have letters attached to my name and I probably thought it would have been MBE but I guess i'll take ADHD and OCD for now.

What's the best piece of advice you have ever been given?

This is a mad one really because i'm the advice giver. People don't really give me advice as much as i'd like them to or need them to. At the start of this year I decided to go to Egypt alone. I had just got over my illness which made me bed bound for a while. My body blew up. I was a comfortable size 12 with around 12st (76kg approx). Im a 6-8 now and I was really going through it mentally. I was looking for that sense of relief and support. In reality I was that support. I needed to show myself I could do it, but really it was nothing to me because I was the one that booked the holiday and catered to everyones needs. 
It was different this time. I could make decisions based on what I wanted to do. 
Whilst I was away, I went through some emotional battles and I began speaking with one of the hotel managers. This was at the back of a blow up because the hotel spa butchered my nails. He then started talking to me and said one key thing that put everything in perspective. He said 'if you were to go to the Dr's with stress, theres nothing they can provide for Stress'. Stress is something that we create in our mind. 
This life is the life. As simple and basic as it was I always go back to it because It Is What It Is.

I love the saying 'Carpe Diem' Seize the moment

'Always be you' is another one that I didn't really understand until I was older. We may not always see our hidden amazing attributes but other people do and we should ever change for anyone or anything. 

Everyone has purpose in life. 
Know your worth and your Value.

I absolutely loved this interview. I'm glad that Sherelle was just able to speak with no interruptions so I could really understand her. She nicely put things into perspective for me and a lot of what she said I could relate to myself. 

I really hope you all take something from this interview and if you are struggling with any of the discussed issues please speak to someone. 
Don't Suffer Alone!
 Anonymously message us if you have to. 

Thank you for reading..... 


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